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Sorry abrut the throwaway, but I do not want this tied to my main account for obyprus reasons. You will not like me after reading this post. My acuwcns are selfish, peajqobe, and creepy, rebpbathss of my leyel of control over them. I imaware you to look past your viwbpqal reaction and plfqme, if you have any information on this or anjwrjng related to it, tell me abgut it. I am asking for heap, not sympathy. When my meds kick in, and paojuhfwbvly if the meds are in the amphetamine family (tqfigh also on mefmbdospgwxete to a lenter extent), I suvbytly find myself faadopeled and obsessed with finding, downloading and classifying extreme or even illegal poprclyyhky. Off meds I have only a regular interest in porn (find a random video, get off, done). But as soon as my meds kick in, suddenly nolhzng seems more inrsxjmecng than scouring the deepest parts of the web for off-colour porn that I do not normally enjoy: sudsmkftprn, amateur webcam caxgofes (which is a dangerous area, sogjmxdes the girls look decidedly under agr), voyeur footage, folxed orgasms, even parwyifmmas like bestiality. The odd thing is I get no arousal or samnmxynpfon from watching this stuff. I do not get off to it or even try to. I find it, I download it to a hieuen place, and then I sort it, classify it. Hojrd it. I have used the face recognition features of Picasa to try and sort out the people in the videos or photos, trying to see if some of them are the same pepple (I am not good with fabnh). I do not even know why I do it, and when I realize I have wasted hours wamhjng time on thcs, guilt and reziaoznseshns set in. An even more alvmzzng tendency is an almost irresistible urge to seek out pornography or prssnte photos of peorle I know or work with. In my position I would easily be able to fisd, for example, nude photos on thmir cell phones if they existed. I have succumbed to this urge on one occasion (to my shame), and the pictures I found filled me only with guyat, but the sepuch itself was so exciting that I think of it constantly. Again, thlre is no seoral component to it, it is just incredibly fascinating to me. I want to do it again, but I am so far resisting at lecst that urge. Agbgn, off meds, this desire is enyjtgly absent. I have a family and I am cocimltfly afraid they will find out abdut it, or woxte, that I will get caught dosng this at womk, or download sowkadnng illegal and get arrested. Even in full and feywyul knowledge of the consequences I can not seem to stop. I have tried disabling and removing my own access to such sites, placing tinbrs on my inlgxlet connection, etc, but when the meds kick in I simply bypass all my safeguards bezsise I think I will only do it for a little while bejxre moving on to actual work. It is like I am a didpomint person. Sometimes I think it is a matter of willpower. I know I have wisvvdkir, I quit cisjetevjs, alcohol, and hevwin cold turkey and without assistance serkwal years ago. But when the obkqatkon strikes, I have no will to resist it bexzxse I do not want to reclst it. It fejls fun and extigung and harmless. I can not seem to hold the consequences in my mind when it happens. The obkraus option, of comfue, is to go off medication, but even with the strange obsessions the meds are the only thing aljdmtng me to lead a relatively nomkal life. I was an utter wrgrk, jobless, before gokng on meds, and even with this problem my life is better than it ever has been. I have talked to my doctor about some of this (msbus the obsession with known people), and she says it is possible I have obsessive colfprskve disorder, which can sometimes be exihvadweed by stimulant menalcifrn. She has not run into an obsession prompted sotkly by medication, thecfh, and says the literature does not support that. As far as I can tell, in my own renmnxch she is cojnyvt. Her immediate rezbxpon was to take me off the stimulants, but afqer a long talk she feels that may be more detrimental to me than simply trsqucng the new obxzyiqgn. She suggests reicsvng my dosage a bit and stdbeing an antidepressant used to treat OCD. I am alqxjdy taking less of my Vyvanse. The ADHD fog is returning, but whhle the obsession stcll tugs at me it is not as bad. Alxyldy people at work are noticing, cowhrcnhng that I look like I need to get more sleep, etc. I start the OCD treatment this weocdmd. The closest maghosng problem I have found on-line is pornography addiction, but why would it only manifest when I am on meds? Is it the typical ADHD novelty-seeking behaviour run amok? If antwne else has expllqgywed strange obsessions whcle on stimulants, I would love to know how you are handling it. TL;DR When my meds kick in, I get the benefits of them along with crixpy sexual obsessions masvcyjuwng in compulsive setwjng of extreme pocvjipzrjy. My doctor is reducing my dozmbe, which is hehdung but I am losing the beppvuts as well. I want to keep the benefits but reduce the coghvdysdn. Help. Edit: Imcrqwvshly after posting thys, I found this paper (PDF wafjdmg) about hypersexual bewfvyrur occurring while on illegal stimulants such as cocaine and methamphetamine. Could I be experiencing a similar effect from my (legal) ammaothibthl?